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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, lemme be real – some parts of Fort Sask get rly intense. My fave spot? The cozy coffee joint on Riverside Drive. I met a couple there – they whispered secrets like I was eavesdropping on forbidden love. I mean, c’mon, these moments rly make me feel alive. They rly stick to your soul, like a scene from the movie – “It’s gonna blow your mind!”

Fort Saskatchewan Completes Major Turnaround